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The Golden Compass



I finally got around to watching "The Golden Compass" and it was indeed interesting.

I have this thing where I'm Catholic. It's kinda weird and cultish, but it works for me. Anyway, along with being Catholic and all, you have friends that are Catholic. Some of them hysterically denounced this film as anti-Catholic propaganda and said, in essence, that no good Catholic should go see it. Of course, this made me want to see it even more, as I'm a sucker for controversy (that and I like to show that you don't have to be a walking, talking stereotype to be a good Catholic).

I'd read the first book when it came out a little over a decade ago. I was a bit younger then, and I didn't recall it having any particularly anti-Catholic agenda / propaganda, but looking at it now, a bit older and a bit wiser, heh, yeah, there's just a *bit* of it.

It's a good film, maybe a 7/10 or so, so don't get me wrong, I rather liked this movie. That said, it is frustrating being a Catholic and having your beliefs mocked and mis-represented. Much like being an Atheist in a Christian society, I suppose.

It was kinda funny in a way - the allusions were transparent - anyone who claims not to notice them is either ignorant of the matters the author is alluding to, or just a bit thick in the head. Much like the people who claim that the Lord of the Rings series isn't allegorical *at all* (*cough*, even you, Mr. Tolkien, *cough*).

So more or less, the Papist Church of the New World Order is out to stop Dakota Fanning Blue Richards from discovering the Atheist Molecule (aka, 'Dust'). The Atheist Molecule is highly dangerous, as it allows people to think for themselves, rather than pay heed to the virulent lies of Big Brother the Papist Church of the New World Order, and we can't be having that, now can we?



*note: this is all intended to be said in a joking tone, and the metaphors aren't perfect, I know - they're not meant to be*

Dakota lives at a liberal arts college and has what must be the most awesome life (metaphysics for breakfast!), though no doubt highly boring to a young girl. Her uncle, James Bond, er Daniel Craig is an adventurer and researcher, studying the highly controversial Atheist Molecule, er, Dust in the cold Northern wastes. He's short on funding and asks the college to help him out of the pinch he's in. The Papist Church of the New World order tells the college that it'd better not if it knows where its bread is buttered, but as a liberal arts college, it has a history of supporting freethinkers, Protestants, heretics and even Atheists, so it jumps at the chance to fund James Bond's expedition.

Dakota Blue Richards wants to go too, but she's just a kid and so is therefore ignored, until a most slinky and a 'gosh, I'm sure she's perfectly trustworthy!' Nicole Kidman comes along, and sweeps her up, playing her role as a tool of the Papist Church of the New World Order to the hilt, taking her in her wonderfully steampunk airship to the North, but during a quick stop at the Vatican the heart of the Papist Church of the New World Order, Dakota Blue Richards escapes and meets up with some gypsy analogues and travels north on her own, teaming up with an armored polar bear With A Past on the way.

And in all of this, there's a conspiracy of 'Gobblers' who have been kidnapping small children for some nasty purpose, and you'll never guess who's behind it all. Oh, wait, this is Philip Pullman we're talking about here, right. You *will* guess who's behind it - the Papist Church of the New World Order, duh!

I don't want to give away the entire plot, so I'll leave off by saying that Dakota Blue Richards has more wonderful adventures trying to help her friends escape the Papist Church of the New World Order and its sinister plans for them, meets up with more armored polar bears and does all sorts of wonderful things that leave plenty of room open for the sequels.

In the final tally, there's armored polar bears, steam punk galore, and when the film isn't hating on Catholicism, it's pretty darn awesome from a geek's perspective. And any movie with Sam Elliot in it is a good movie.

As the novel was intended for the younger reader, it can be a bit 'meh' for us older sorts at times, as it's all about a little kid having amazing adventures and becomes very hard to suspend disbelief at times when one is no longer a little kid, but hey, not that bad.

At the end, the movie is inseparable from the ax the author has to grind when it comes to organized religion and Papist scum, but despite that, it's still a damn good movie.

And speaking as Papist scum, I rather liked it.

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