Introducing Professor Tom

Professor Tom has kindly joined the blog, and given how often I manage to write a new movie review, this is definitely a good thing. He's someone that can write a good entertaining review that isn't the equivalent of a scene-by-scene post-mortem by the assistant director or a lovely informative one-liner like "THIS MOVIE RAWKS! GO SEE IT!"

Montag's Movie Reviews - we'll make you laugh, and we'll make you laugh even harder after you've seen the movie or your money back.

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Max Payne: The Movie - A Review

It all started innocently enough back in '01. Some company named 'Rockstar' put out a video game. It was like playing a cross between the best cliches of pulp detective novels and a combat system right out of the Matrix films. Some crazy fool turned it into a movie, and after seeing it tonight, I came to a few conclusions. One, the first video game was better than this movie. Two, this movie was still better than the second video game in the Max Payne series. Three, a few punches can put Max Payne in a hospital bed, but he can laugh off a shotgun blast to the chest from three feet away. If you're reading this, all you care about is 'should I bother seeing it or not?'. The short answer is, if you like stuff being shot up reaaaal good, go see it! If you're interested only in seeing Oscar-worthy movies, you'll probably want to skip this one. And for those of you sticking around for my humorous take on the movie... Max Payne is a man with a past. We know thi...

Green Lantern: Made of Fail

If someone gave you $300 million dollars and said " Make me an awesome movie about the Green Lantern ", you might think to yourself 'Ah, twice as much money as Thor and X-Men: First Class had - easy as pie!'. If you're director Martin Campbell and you've impressed everyone with movies like Edge of Darkness and Casino Royale, but secretly hate super hero movies and Hollywood producers with an insane cunning, and really want to make an expensive pile of fail, you'd have made " Green Lantern ". The short review - don't waste your money on this unless you *literally* have nothing better to do than watch paint dry. If you like comic books, or even just action movies, AVOID AT ALL COSTS. Where to begin... I heard bad things about the movie, but I thought 'How bad could it be?'. First things first. Ryan Reynolds. Generally known for playing slightly air-headed characters with a sense of humor and formulaic Hollywood looks. Star of fifty-two ...

The Hunger Games: A movie review

If I was to describe the hunger games in a single word, yes I know this is becoming a habit with me, it would be this: Stark. Having read the entire hunger games trilogy, I feel that this is appropriate, but does not necessarily make for the best movie. Let me clarify though: the very austere and even severe impression that I get from the movie isn't bad, it just isn't fun. Interesting, compelling, provocative yes, but fun, no. A brief word to those that are fans of the series: the movie is fine. Structurally there isn't anything wrong with it and all the most critical details are left intact, as they had damn well better be if these people hope to make a trilogy out of this. Being a fan of the series myself and having read all the books, I notice the glaring differences where small or large details have been left out and while I'm not thrilled, it didn't prove to be a deal breaker either. On the whole, I would say...

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