Montag's Movie Reviews

Who screams for ice cream? I DO!! The trailer looked interesting, I'll give it that. The premise made me shake my head though. God decides humanity has to go. Only 6 people with a trunk full of automatic weapons stand against the full might of the Almighty. So they're cinders at the end, right? Nope. Nooo, nooo nooo. No sir. Not at all. As it turns out, angels are pretty vulnerable to bullets. And most of all, headlocks! Seriously, you can darn near kill an angel with a headlock! True story film bro! So. God has had it with Man. That God you heard about who destroyed cities with angels? Well, apparently God is all out of those guys. Michael the Arch Angel has decided he doesn't care for God's new plan of action. He falls to earth, cuts off his wings, grabs a ton of guns and heads out on the road. Out in the middle nowhere, with a dollop of desert scenery, six decent actors humans with completely boring stories, flaws, and unexplainable motives are in a diner. One of...

Ok, first of all, I need to clear the air about something: yes, Avatar has the same basic premise as the 1990 Kevin Costner film Dances With Wolves. However, and that's a big however, pointing that fact out as if it were some sort of impediment to the movie and as if you were somehow clever and intelligent is completely false. The fact is that yes, this storytelling convention has been used several times before: outsider joins indigenous people to better understand them so they can be defeated, falls for tribe member/becomes engrossed in the culture and decides to switch sides (circa dances with wolves, the last samurai, the last of the Mohicans, the new world, etc.). What the aforementioned fallacy illustrates is an inability to recognize that storytelling conventions are not always bad things, and used properly can actually make the story more accessible to an audience and save you lots of time on unnecessary exposition. Lets all face it, we could all do with a bit less unnecess...

You might be wondering why I took so long after this movie was released to review it, that's because it wasn't released everywhere at the same time. This movie didn't come to my area until this week. Oh well, limited releases and all that. Ok, so first off let me dispel a lot of hate speech people have been putting out concerning this movie, it's not bad, not horrible, not awful. What it is could best be described with the use of a single word: schizophrenic. Bear in mind: crazy is not always a bad thing, Vincent van Gogh was arguably pretty nuts and that worked out pretty well for him, at least from a historical and artistic perspective. So while this movie isn't BAD, it is nuts, but it does manage to take the pigskin of lunacy and run with it. There have been endless complaints by people comparing this movie to the first and while those arguments would be valid with most sequels like the matrix trilogy where the quality steadily and systematically went down in a...

"Where The Wild Things Are" may be rated PG, but it's not a kids movie. I'm not even sure it's an adults movie frankly. Spike Jonze takes whatever nostalgia you had for Maurice Sendak's novel and slowly grinds it into the salt and glass-shard encrusted ground while spritzing you with a bottle of lemon juice. It captures all the joy you never had of going through a terrible divorce as a child and compresses it into two incredibly miserable hours. Completing the 'nasty divorce as seen through a child's eyes' allegorical tale is the amazing voice acting, of which I wish there had been none. It really made you feel like your parents were arguing and yelling right there in the theater and you happened to be eight again. Inane arguments that make no sense to a child, miserable lame excuses as to why two people who seemed so in love can no longer be together, etc, etc, etc. Go watch the latest Saw movie. You'll feel better, both in general, and about ...

Tinseltown has failed to produce a real hit this year and G. I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra is no exception. Sure Angels & Demons came close to being a home run, if only an infield one. Even the much hyped Watchmen suffered from a badly edited theatrical cut as LA continues to dump on itself, licking its wounds from last year's strikes and this year's recession. G. I. Joe isn't anything new or spectacular; it is, in fact, quite the opposite: overused CGI, actors chosen for looks, not ability; too many plot lines that turns into tiring exposition; lots of pointless effects; unneeded comedic relief; pointless love interests and plenty of eye candy. The first clue that this movie was going to be a waste of time was Dennis Quaid is featured prominently in the trailer as General Hawk. Quaid must have thought this would be his redemption movie that would turn his career as audiences saw him in a new light, much like what Stranger Than Fiction did for Will Ferral, but alas, t...

Inglorious Basterds is Tarantino's latest film, and given how awesome some of his past films have been, I was pretty psyched about seeing it. When I left the theater though, my opinion of the movie was 'meh'. Sure, it has some great moments, and there's certainly a few hilarious scenes, and plenty of suspense. But it drags on, and it seems to be uncertain when to be serious and when to treat it all as one great big joke. Everything is a caricature of a caricature. When it's good, it's great. But when it's bad, it's just tiring. And it's bad more often than it's good. The movie looks great. The acting is... Well, all the actors are great at what they've been told to do. It's just what they've been told to do doesn't make for that good of a movie in the end. Long story short, the movie isn't anything special. It's an amazingly violent fairy tale painted with strokes of WWII, with no connection to historical fact (not that it...

I'm with on the false advertising in trailers thing: I think that studios that snooker you into the theater via false advertising in their trailers ought to have to pay out punitive damages in a class action lawsuit. All of the good shots of Public Enemies was in the trailer. Michael Mann owes me $10.50 for a midnight ticket after being drawn, beaten, horsewhipped, set on fire and quartered. I demand that Universal personally send Johnny Depp with my refund check, even though he and Christian Bale were the only things right wit the movie. There's very little good to say about this movie. I can't recall a lick of the score because it all sounded like source music. The only recognizable piece of music in the film is Otis Taylor's Ten Million Slaves which, if you don't buy the linked single, you get forced into buying the the whole damned album . For whatever insane reason, Director Michael Mann decided to film on cheap digital cameras.It's impossible to tell ...